
The problem with the sudden passing --it is still very hard to say the "d" word-- of my daughter is that it challenges my basic hypothesis for living. I choose to believe that the universe was formed out of love, and that love is the most dominant force on the planet today. With all of its problems, this is still a planet of love. Creatures and rocks and oceans and human beings all live in a field of love. I can feel it---or I could feel it, before the first week of June, 2013. Now I am half-submerged in the quicksand of slow grief, of grieflove, which pulls me down and refuses to let me go. The more I struggle, the deeper I go. And yet, when I breathe into the loss, it still will not leave me. I have not yet found the amount of tears that will be enough to set me free.