California Girl, Healer, Friend, Lover, Sister, Daughter, Corey Considine lives in our hearts...because love is stronger than death
Corey Considine
  • Love Is Stronger
  • Videos
  • Corey's Life
  • Grief
  • Contact

Like Butterfly Wings

7/24/2013

3 Comments

 
Picture
Corey came to me in the wee hours by the rushing stream where I camped alone last night. My elder daughter, Julia, and her boys were with me for a cookout, then I told a few stories from Game of Thrones as we cuddled by the campfire. Noah and Ethan climbed trees and chased each other while I tried to console my beautiful Julia who has lost her number one supporter in life: her ever-faithful and loving younger sister. 

Afterwards I told Julia yet again that I am looking for Corey and will not stop making myself available to her for contact. I have felt that my first job is to climb the mountain of grief so I can begin to leave some of my personal pain behind. I imagine that only then will I have a chance of sensing her now.

The moon was a searchlight moving through the trees and into my little tent as the stream drowned out every sound. My trusty dog, Sequoya, lay on the mat just outside the door of my tent. 

I kept praying, "God give me new ears to hear Corey. New eyes with which to see her."

Somewhere in the night with the moon in my tent, she come to me. Out of the nothingness of sleep I started seeing a young woman (or "womyn" as Corey spelled it from the time she was eight years old). She wore a large sunhat and was laughing softly, smiling and lowering her head with the grace of an angel. Then knew it was Corey. She looked like herself except a tad older, with a few more years of experience showing on her radiant face. 

Seeing her, I immediately made the inner gesture that I have made since the first dream visit from her on July 11: I open myself. I fold my ego and my desires like fresh laundry and set them beside me and open my innermost self into the void. Breathing. Waiting. Believing she will come to me if I can keep from wanting it so much. Then, it happened. Corey came to me; her body was the most subtle body, it did not have physical boundaries as she hugged me over and over again. Her hugs felt like large butterfly wings gently opening and closing on me on every side.

3 Comments
Heather
7/24/2013 02:44:16 am

Sheridan...thank you. Your words eloquently and descriptively articulate the vortex of confusion and longing within my heart. You give the chaos, the struggle, the numbness life and beauty, just as Corey always has done. Thank you. The butterfly migration has finally come here. I am filled with exhiliration, joy, and even panic as I drive down the road breaking every few minutes holding my breath as to not hit one. I'll never forget the way Corey held my hand one day as I cried for and hour about hitting a chipmunk, completey understanding, completely loving. The milkweeds we planted in the Spring have bloomed and they are covered in Swallowtails, American Ladies, and yes, finally...a few Monarchs. Her beauty is completely within them.

Two of the great life lessons that Corey and I oftened discussed were, Surrender and Humility. In this new chapter, these lessons have become boundless in their power and in their grace. Like rivers, rivers of grief that have cut away canyon upon canyon in my heart, I sit, eyes closed, head between my knees not wanting to peer over the edge to see the depth of the scar. Yet, with this life you are bringing forth in your words and song and art, I know that eventually I will get up and toss a handful of soil into that canyon one at a time and begin to heal, begin to replant a garden that Corey would be proud of. One where the butterflies will find an eternal home. so, thank you for this, and for you, and for the beautiful souls you gave life too.

all my love,
heather

Reply
Judie LUndborg Hoeppner
7/24/2013 09:45:04 am

Dear Sheridan,
I am so touched by the beauty of the website you've created to honor Corey. There's such a thin veil, I'm not surprised that she's come to you. May her visits be of comfort to you as you go thru the journey of loss. When my Mom died so many, many years ago, people avoided mentioning her, I think to spare us pain, and yet that's all I wanted to talk about. This is such a beautiful way for you to talk about Corey and for others to share with you. Sending you much love, Judie

Reply
Kate Dunnagan
8/5/2013 03:22:45 pm

Sheridan, thank you for sharing your gift of storytelling, and for telling the profound story of a new life, after loss. Corey has not come to my in sleep or dreams but i feel her presence daily and she brings me peace, comfort, love, and warmth in my heart. and release of pain and overwhelming sense of grace that moves me always to tears. I wish for you, Julia, and all of your family, that you feel her grace and peace with every thought, every prayer, every breath, to know that she is and will always be by our sides. As August advances, I am looking forward to our gathering to honor her 30th. I hope to hear from you anyway that I might be able to help you or support you and your family. XO

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Love Is Stronger Than Death

    These entries are part of an upcoming book about love and grief, in honor of Corey Considine, my beautiful younger daughter. She was with us in physical form from August 12,1983 to June 6, 2013. It was a vehicle accident, at the end of a beautiful sunset she had just watched from her favorite hill. She was engaged to a wonderful young man, dabbling in art, planting gardens, planning her wedding, offering love, care, and healing to everyone she knew.

    Since that time, those of us who love her have had to work hard to deal with our grief and to be sure that the sense of loss does not overpower the love. To find a way to let our love for Corey grow. When your beloved is no longer walking on this earth, the love you had for them does not stop.
    Love is stronger than death.


    Picture

    Archives

    June 2019
    June 2018
    October 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    July 2016
    April 2016
    January 2016
    November 2015
    September 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    July 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013

    RSS Feed

Corey Considine: Love, Death, and Transformation. A short film that may take me years to create. But I'm on it.