Corey Considine in our hearts

Give Me New Ears

7/19/2013

I awoke this morning saying thank you God thank you God thank you as trills of birdsong fill the dawning air. Joy infuses my sleepy body, and I understand, by this waking thought, that I am moving through the worst initial part of this grief. it has a long been my practice to wake in a state of intentional gratitude, and over time it began to happen that gratitude--a sense of grace in the world--became my inner reality... until this June.
After Corey's accident, every sunrise found me in a fit of sobbing because every morning brought the dawning, ripping-open reality that my younger daughter is not in a place where I can hold her, touch her, talk to her as I always have.
Ever since the dream visit from her last week, throughout the day, and every night when I lie down in bed I summon the determination to connect with her in the new way. Slowly, the desire to connect with her now--wherever she is --is becoming so strong that it is pushing aside some measure of the grief. In this way, I hope to emerge.
I do not pray to have this weight lifted from me because I understand it is some necessary part of being human. I only pray for the way to talk to my daughter: to be given new ears with which to hear her voice.

7 Comments

Love Is Stronger Than Death

These entries are part of an upcoming book about love and grief, in honor of Corey Considine, my beautiful younger daughter. She was with us in physical form from August 12,1983 to June 6, 2013. It was a vehicle accident, at the end of a beautiful sunset she had just watched from her favorite hill. She was engaged to a wonderful young man, dabbling in art, planting gardens, planning her wedding, offering love, care, and healing to everyone she knew.

Since that time, those of us who love her have had to work hard to deal with our grief and to be sure that the sense of loss does not overpower the love. To find a way to let our love for Corey grow. When your beloved is no longer walking on this earth, the love you had for them does not stop.
Love is stronger than death.

Anne Barnhill

7/19/2013 03:02:37 am

Dear, dear friend,
I did not know of your tragic loss until just now, when I got your post. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter-in-law almost six years ago. Like you, I had chosen to believe in Divine Love. Her death threw me into a spiritual chasm from which I have not yet emerged. Everything I knew in my bones was dislodged, ripped from me, much as she had been. Loss added to loss. But time does make it better---it is a process and each one of us must take the process as we are able. For me, it has been so very slow, achingly so. May you find peace and may you be able to feel her presence each day.
Love,
Anne

rebecca d'angelo

7/19/2013 04:55:20 am

Oh Sheridan. I am reading this, and I am crying. I am sooo sooo sorry for your loss. I am amazed with your ability to cope with it and express your feelings so eloquently. To have such a strong spiritual base is truly a gift and will serve you and Corey and the rest of your family so well. I love that you wake up with intentional gratitude and that you are remembering to do this through what must be the most difficult thing you have ever had to face. I want to call you right now, but I am afraid I will start crying and I won't know what to say. Please call me when you can. I love you!
Rebecca

Kim

7/19/2013 08:46:20 am

Sheridan

7/19/2013 09:01:04 am

Sheridan, I am so glad you were blessed with a visitation dream from Corey. I hope it brought you comfort. Losing a child is the most painful experience a parent can have. It's unfair, it's not the natural order of things. People are at a loss of what to say because this level of grief is nothing short of devastation. I have a friend that lost her only child in a vehicle accident three years ago. He was only 27. Michelle told me to never tell people it'll get better or he's in a better place now. She would feel so enraged with these comments because it's like being on fire and someone pours a thimble of water on you. It does not help.
You are one of the most honest people I have ever met and I imagine you will handle the grief with pure authenticity. You are completely in my thoughts and prayers.

Candace Freeland

7/19/2013 12:11:34 pm

Dearest cousin,
This website is the most soul stunning wellspring of beauty, love and raw reality. It feels alive, the presence of your spirit and Corey's is palpable as I read these entries and witness Corey's radiant life force in the photos. Crystal clear, so real, so true. Now the Great Mystery is giving you words that until now, have been unspeakable. And in that, Grace.

Jerry Nelms

7/19/2013 11:10:52 pm

Oh Sheridan! My heart is full, bursting with compassion for you and your loved ones. In the months following my Dad's passing last summer, I had several vivid dream visits with him where I knew he was present with me...and letting me know he was ok...happy even.
Still, I do miss him. You know Corey is present with you as well, not just in your dream, but in your daily life. But I do know of the painful emptiness because your body cannot be with her's. All life is so precious because it is so fleeting. But the love...ah, that is eternal, yes? Thoughts, prayers and blessing go with you, dear one.

Ann

7/20/2013 08:05:55 am

This is wonderful. Profound. Love and life filled.

My dear friend... you always inspire me to go further, to see life in a much larger context, to, dare I say it, allow the spirit in and to let my mind rest.

You are meeting this lesson in loss, grief and love with strength and willingness and not just rage, confusion and numbness. You are an artist, a beautiful, magical, crazy as hell spirit. Your conduit to Corey is open and you will find the way.

Everything is different now but you are prepared for this journey.

You and I have known each other for 50 years... Wow! You are the one who still reaches out to me, who grabs my guts and soul.

I look at your picture and pray with and about you daily. I, like all your friends and family, here or in spirit, are right there.

Give Me New Ears

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Love Is Stronger Than Death

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