Every time I thought about a cigarette I popped some gum and went out to trim shrubs.
But the larger part of the recipe for quitting was the love of family. My (nonsmoking) sister and her husband spent the weekend here, we had an awesome day with (nonsmoking) family in a nearby state forest, last night I attended the 96th birthday party of a friend who is like family, and in a week or so more family come in. Their love surrounds me. The love of all my friends and family who are holding me up in spirit is a tensile lifeline now.
I still have no answer when folks innocently ask, "How are you?" Because if I answered honestly, you would be decimated by the amount of pain and loss I could describe. So I won't. When you ask how I am, I just change the subject and talk about something else. It seemed that the smoking helped me this last month. Almost as if it was something to hide in. But I am glad to be leaving it behind.